Here goes nothing

Well here goes nothing. I have been telling myself through everything we are going through I needed to start a blog but I never did. I figured everything we are going through it might be good for me as well as something to look back on when we are done with all of this!
Here I sit at home after my IUI today and the hubby is at work and figure why not.

This year so far has been interesting. We have been trying to grow our family since Jan 2011. We have since seen numerous doctors, had several procedures, spent lots of money and had lots of unsatisfying months! I was diagnosed with PCOS in May 2011 and have since had to have assistance with trying to get pregnant. Today was IUI number 3 with meds. So we start the dreaded 2WW ( two week wait) which sucks. Im supposed to act pregnant so no wine, no hotdogs, no motorcycle and lots of SEX! Guess thats the good thing. Amazing everything we have to go through for 1 sperm and 2 minutes technically being all it takes to get pregnant. Oh well. Ill post lots during this week as we try to struggle through our wait for George ( my mothers name for aunt flo) or a Postive pregnancy test.

The other fun to our year has been my parents separation and divorce. It has sucked majorly. I grew up in a christian home that divorce is not OK and you make it work. My dad has chosen a different path. He has decided that his gf and his other family is more important than my mother and I. I hurt daily for me and my mom. I hate that she has to go through this after everything she has done for me, my sister and my dad over the years. I am glad the point she is at and has come to. She makes me proud to call her my mom! I wish sometimes my sister was here to just have someone to talk to about it all but I also don't think she could have handled this and I think it was part of Gods plan.

I pray that God gives us a positive to all of this and we get pregnant soon. I think its what we all need. My mother is a strong woman and will get through this but it still isn't right and she doesn't deserve it.

I am hoping to rekindle with my father but I just don't know yet how to approach it. I am so mad at him, and while he says its between my mom and him, I can't let it go. I feel I betray my mom to talk to him. He has a long way to come and some apologies to give before him and I will be ok again. I just hope he realizes it sooner than later and fixes this. I don't want my kids to not have grandparents. I had mine.

Well I think thats enough for the night, the dogs are fighting and need to go outside, before the living room looks like this again:

Night all!