Bored while the hubs watches Discovery..

Its been an interesting week. My mom is out of town and it sucks. I talk to her several times a day and typically do dinner every other night!! But she needs and deserves her vacation so I am ok with it.

I had it out with my grandfather yesterday. Aggravating the way things have happened. All because my parents are divorcing I have lost a whole SIDE of my family. But they have done it to themselves. I am just disappointed in how they have have handled it and that they are people of GOD and my grandfather is a pastor. Its sad but one day he will have to answer for his actions.

On another note, I have been sleepy this week. I don't know why. Im thinking its time for a new mattress and time for the dogs to find a new place to sleep! :) The hubs won't agree but its worth a try.

I don't feel pregnant this week yet but I have had some horrible indigestion. I have had a huge gas bubble today and couldn't get rid of it! Needed to burp and couldn't! TMI but I tend to over analyze everything in my 2WW (2 Week wait). I hope this is it because next month is shots daily and I'm SO not into that. But we will see. Im trying to understand this is GODS plan but its hard. To see my friends having babies or having 2nds. I am trying to be excited and happy for them but its hard sometimes! I just want to be part of that club, hopefully this is the month! Well see. I thought I was testing on the 23rd but found paperwork today that says 21st. Thats a week and a day...

Tonight we had mexican for dinner!! Yummy after we picked Rickys bike up from a friends house. I am sad. I love riding and can't until we find out if I'm pregnant. That is one thing I will miss when I am is not being able to ride!! Oh well. someday I want my own, well see.

Hitting the sack tonight to try and finish my "50 shades of grey"!

Another busy weekend

Well as I write I am again home by myself while the hubs is working. I love him so much, he does so much for him and I both to have the things we want and do the things we want

We had another busy weekend. Sat was our good friends Jerry and Sams daughters Sophias 1st birthday. While were not family we are extremely close to them and I consider her my niece. Since my sister has passed I will not get nieces and nephews unless Rickys brother has kids. I love Sophia like she was my own! So needless to say she had a perfect birthday Saturday.

Today we went to church and small group. We haven't been in so long since we have been so busy and it was nice. Its just nice to be there and talk and socialize with everyone!

We went to my moms tonight to have dinner and kinda talked next step and where she is going from here. Its sad that my parents have gone the route they have gone and that my mom is loosing so much based on my dads decisions. I'm hoping Ricky and I can help my mom emotionally, finically and any other way she needs since she has always done so much for me.

Me and my beautiful niece on her first birthday!

Well I had a lot I wanted to say tonight but it didn't happen! After shopping and couponing tonight I am tired and I'm going to watch a few shows and go to bed! Im hoping I don't touch my book ( 50 shades of grey) So I can actually sleep! night all

Here goes nothing

Well here goes nothing. I have been telling myself through everything we are going through I needed to start a blog but I never did. I figured everything we are going through it might be good for me as well as something to look back on when we are done with all of this!
Here I sit at home after my IUI today and the hubby is at work and figure why not.

This year so far has been interesting. We have been trying to grow our family since Jan 2011. We have since seen numerous doctors, had several procedures, spent lots of money and had lots of unsatisfying months! I was diagnosed with PCOS in May 2011 and have since had to have assistance with trying to get pregnant. Today was IUI number 3 with meds. So we start the dreaded 2WW ( two week wait) which sucks. Im supposed to act pregnant so no wine, no hotdogs, no motorcycle and lots of SEX! Guess thats the good thing. Amazing everything we have to go through for 1 sperm and 2 minutes technically being all it takes to get pregnant. Oh well. Ill post lots during this week as we try to struggle through our wait for George ( my mothers name for aunt flo) or a Postive pregnancy test.

The other fun to our year has been my parents separation and divorce. It has sucked majorly. I grew up in a christian home that divorce is not OK and you make it work. My dad has chosen a different path. He has decided that his gf and his other family is more important than my mother and I. I hurt daily for me and my mom. I hate that she has to go through this after everything she has done for me, my sister and my dad over the years. I am glad the point she is at and has come to. She makes me proud to call her my mom! I wish sometimes my sister was here to just have someone to talk to about it all but I also don't think she could have handled this and I think it was part of Gods plan.

I pray that God gives us a positive to all of this and we get pregnant soon. I think its what we all need. My mother is a strong woman and will get through this but it still isn't right and she doesn't deserve it.

I am hoping to rekindle with my father but I just don't know yet how to approach it. I am so mad at him, and while he says its between my mom and him, I can't let it go. I feel I betray my mom to talk to him. He has a long way to come and some apologies to give before him and I will be ok again. I just hope he realizes it sooner than later and fixes this. I don't want my kids to not have grandparents. I had mine.

Well I think thats enough for the night, the dogs are fighting and need to go outside, before the living room looks like this again:

Night all!